I should be packing right now seeing as how I have to have everything packed up in the car by Friday before the sun sets, and I don't even have one box full. Just gargantuan-sized piles of clothes and all sorts of other essential college junk stacked a foot into the air all around the living room, dining room, and my bedroom, along with a separate corner of the dining room reserved for a 5 foot stack of empty cardboard boxes. I also have a bunch of laundry to do. But I suppose that's typical, I mean when have I actually been the type to get things done early? (That's a rhetorical question)

I'm so excited to go back to school now. Summer is nice, but there's only so much sitting around and not doing much that a person can handle without becoming restless and antsy (is that a real word, or is it just one of those WV words?). I miss having people around. I haven't gone anywhere with friends or seen any of them in over a month (except one situation which only half counts). I hate spending so much time by myself. It's nice for a few days, but not all the time. I can't wait to be surrounded by people again.

I was so happy after receiving a phone call from one of my friends I hadn't heard from in so long that I thought she didn't like me anymore. Forget everything I said about my friends growing apart and not talking to them anymore and all that stuff. That was just me over-reacting again and freaking out because I think people don't like me anymore, especially people that I've always been very close to. Just because you don't talk to someone for awhile doesn't mean you aren't friends anymore. It just means that you're both very busy or unsure of when to call. I just hate when people leave without saying goodbye.

I wish I was a better conversationalist. When I'm around people I don't know or only sort of know, I can't say anything other than "wow, yeah, that's neat, haha (polite laughter)" and lots of smiling and nodding of the head. A half hour later, I can recall the conversation and think of a dozen clever, interesting, or witty things I could have said, but by then it's too late. I've tried to work on that, but I think that's the way I'll always be. Until I really know someone, I feel like I'm nothing more than a silent robot programmed on "listening intently" mode. I think that would make me the worst blind date on the face of the earth.