Going home was so nice. I really didn't do anything all weekend except hang around my house. It was so nice to just be without having to go anywhere or do anything at a specific time. I got to sleep in my own bed, watch tv at my own house on the familiar couch, and take showers in my own vanilla-scented bathroom. It was wonderful. Of course I'm sort of paying for it now because I have so much reading to finish by morning that I didn't get done at home. It was worth it though. I really hated to leave so soon.

I sort of wish I had more time so I could write more on my blog. As pointless, silly, and trifle as it may seem, there is something that I really like about it. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is, but all I know is that something compels me to continue each time I feel like I should quit. I used to keep some form of a diary every day in various notebooks, but now I've nearly quit, and that sort of makes me sad. I always like looking back on my life so I can realize how petty and/or naive I once was.

I slept most of the way home, but during one of those foggy interludes between consciousness and sleep, I thought about how quickly my life was going by. I thought about how weird it would be if this was all a dream. What if I woke up in the morning and had to take the SATs? That would be horrible. As many times as I've been upset or stressed out and as many bad things that have happened in the past couple of years, I wouldn't want to go back and do it all over again. There's nothing since college that I've regretted; everything has taught me something valuable. The person that I am today would not even recognize the person that I was two years ago. The truth is, I love college. I love being in college, I love the people who surround me. I love the atmosphere, the opportunities, and the feeling that anything could happen in the next second. I love the fact that I've never been at a better point in my life, suspended somewhere between total dependence and responsibility, living in my own reality but edging ever closer toward a whirlwind that I can't control. I need an emergency brake.

In other news, we finished continuous recruitment and ended up with the 15 most amazing girls on campus, our additional 8 undergoing formal pledging tomorrow night. That event made me indescribably happy, much more so than I would have ever imagined. I honestly don't think anyone could understand unless they were in the same situation. Our new pledge class is truly made up of 15 wonderful, fantastic, spectacular, amazing girls and I love each and every one of them. It's so bizarre, I never would have imagined that I would feel this way toward the new girls, but just because they are joining, I feel so much responsibility for them. For making sure that they are happy, that they have friends, that they're comfortable, not failing classes, and that everything in their life is wonderful just because they will be future sisters. And yes, I got a new little. She's SO excited to be a Kappa, so I don't think she will drop out. I already bought stuff for her while I was home and I can't wait to tell her that I'm her big because she doesn't know yet. This week is relatively light as far as homework goes and I don't have any classes on Tuesday or Thursday. Basically, it's just another week here at Denison.

And blah, my e-mail doesn't work right now. Maybe it's because I have 672 messages in my inbox. I guess I should delete some, huh?