I'm really bored. And you know what that means! Lots of random dronings posted on this blog. I have no finals tomorrow and don't feel like studying for my final Friday, and everyone else is busy studying, or so it seems. I guess I don't really have much to write about either. I tend to write really long postings that don't really pertain to anything at all. I suppose it doesn't matter though, it gives me something to do. Well, five of us went out for dinner today. We ended up going to Victoria's Parlor because the wait at Brew's was 45 minutes. I'd never been there before, but it was pretty good. Later, my roommate and I went to Slayter where they had food for the freshmen. The only reason we went there was to get the free t-shirts they advertised, but we ended up having to wait at least 30 minutes before they brought them out. Oh well, at least I have another Denison t-shirt! Actually, just being there made my roommate and I realize just how few people we know from our class. And also how awkward we feel in social situations involving large groups of people. I suppose that's another reason we're staying in the bubble of Curtis East again next year.

I've been thinking, and I think I think too much. Actually, I know I think too much. I overanalyze everything, and if I can't come to a conclusion that suits me and gets me to stop thinking, then I enlist the help of someone else and try to reach an agreeable consensus. Only one that suits me, calms my worries, and stops my overanalyzation, of course. Obviously, no matter how much I may try to convince myself that what I'm worried about and overanalyzing will be okay, I still remain restless and unsettled until I know something for sure or become reassured straight from the source. Understandably, this does not happen very often and most people I talk to are so unfamiliar with the thing I'm so concerned with that they are practically useless in calming my anxieties. So I must trudge on, spending so many unoccupied moments concerning myself with things I needn't worry about, sometimes to the point of reaching an inner turmoil that is difficult to vanquish. Of course I get over it eventually and realize I was an idiot to waste so many valuable moments ruminating over such a trifle, insignificant thing. However this seems to be a never-ending cycle in my life that will not allow me to escape. I suppose I just need to look to the future rather than try to deceipher the present.

I think I sort of want to go home now. I've been stuck in the middle, not really caring where I go, only knowing that for the next 3 years the time of year and the season pretty much dictate my life. When it's summer, I go home, fall I come to Ohio, Thanksgiving home, back to Ohio, Christmas home, back to Ohio...you know the drill. So why should I even care what I do when I don't really have a choice in the matter? I should just go along with it because having an opinion either way is only going to make me miserable, wishing I could be somewhere when the decision is clearly not mine. But at times I miss looking out of the window and seeing tree-covered hills rolling gracefully across the skyline. When I look out the window here, in this place Ohioans call "hilly", I see nothing but sky, leading to bulidings, leading to a few tall trees, leading to even more sky. At home, the sky is hidden beneath the rolling mountains that tower from all viewpoints. It wasn't until I left home that I realized just how prominent these hills actually are and just how empty the skies look without them. Ironically, it was always the hills that I hated. They always made me feel trapped, like I couldn't escape and was doomed to live my life surrounded by them. They acted as prison walls, trapping me inside, never allowing me to see the rest of the world. I was so afraid of being stuck there for the rest of my life like so many people are. They stay in the same town and same neighborhood and rarely see anything outside of the hills. I've always felt the need to escape and to see as much of the world as I possibly could. I know Ohio isn't very far away, but it's a start that will hopefully lead me to even bigger and better places. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm just a small town girl who wants to escape and see the world and not be trapped in the same place her entire life. But even I could never deny that there is something magical, beautiful, or even poetic hidden away in those hills. Whether set on fire by the radiant reds, oranges, and yellows of the fall, painted in a delicate layer of white in the winter, blossoming in pale greens and pinks in the spring, or shining proudly, vibrant and green, in the summer sun, the hills of West Virginia are filled with an unsurpassable natural beauty that at times I sincerely miss.

In honor of my sudden appreciation for the hills of West Virginia, I have put together a small photo album of the area where I live right here.

I actually stole all the pictures from someone else on the Webshots website, but that's okay, they'll probably never know. They make me very nostalgic and excited about going home, which I suppose is an okay thing at this point in the school year.